Friendships & Epilepsy.

“Sometimes people thousands of miles away from you can make you feel better than the people right beside you”- Anon

Tonight’s a quick post folks, a one that is more of a reminiscing session than an in depth evaluation.

Today has just been a normal Saz day off work however this one has been a one that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed.

After a lovely catch-up with my best friend over tea and a toblerone brownie I went out with my husband around town before entering my counselling session. A rather delicious roast dinner was devoured before then trying my utmost to get my mother back into the noughties with a mobile phone upgrade. It’s been a rather productive day.

This evening’s quote is one that makes me see that we all stand united for an unbelievable cause.

I interpret the quote above and think to myself that you have your true friends the ones that will never judge you, will give you and honest opinion and always have your best interests at heart. You get the ones that are there for a reason and then you get the ones who stand tall with you and offer words of support even if you haven’t met them. That in itself is comforting and a pleasure to read.

I have many people on here who make me laugh with hysterics (like sending scary images of clowns and women coming out of TV sets), you have people who drop the odd joke, the odd song but better still words of encouragement from all. Those words is what makes you see that we are all the same with the condition we have yet so different when it comes to our personalities. When we stand alone we may feel vulnerable however when we stand together we can be unbreakable.

Epilepsy is something that in the world effects millions of men, women and children and can at any stage enter your life when it wants. Some grow out of this condition and the remainder unfortunately have to persevere with and try to live life to it’s full potential the best way they can.

Whilst being on twitter it’s safe to say that I’ve made new friends people who I can talk to about my condition, the side effects my anti epileptic drugs have and the worries entering my end on those down days.

In conjunction to that I’ve met some remarkable people who have taught me how to be a better person, how to eat correctly, have been inspirational within their own achievements but better still have kept me smiling throughout.

Overall you have all made a massive mark on my life and have given me the opportunity to not only speak with a great set of people however have spurred me on to continue raising my own personal awareness through Sazzle’s blog so thank you all for that.

For those that have read this blog from the beginning will be well aware that I was reluctant to publish Sazzle’s blog online incase I would have been ridiculed or shot down in flames for writing a load of old waffly bollocks (my saying for rubbish).

I think because I was changing from being a paranoid person into the person I am now there was this worry that my point wouldn’t get across the way I intended it to.

My intention since writing this blog was to help others the way I have been helped by all of you.

I never thought in a million years that I would have been perceived as an advocate, to me I was a young woman with a past, a story that had gaps that needed filling. A story that needed to be told in order for me to accept myself and by extension see if my advice could enable others to release that worry from their minds and live life to the full the way I’m trying to now.

The laughs, the concerns and the knowing that we are all roughly in the same boat makes me see that we can all help one another in some way and that the world isn’t all about what you see in the media. We all have a voice.

As mentioned earlier counselling was on today’s agenda to which I sat there thinking to myself that therapy may be essential for the remainder of my life in order to function and to refresh any new techniques that may prevent me from getting agitated.

Whilst sitting in my usual spot with a glass of water blowing my nose at every available opportunity I sat there realising that the only person who has prevented herself from living the life I wanted was me.

To an extent my condition may have dominated my thought pattern and restricted my ability in times of weakness however when it comes to me I’m not going to lie I take too much on when it comes to my immediate family.

I try to assist and know deep down that irrespective of my trying that they will make whatever decisions are right for them at the time whether I like this or not.

People may look upon this as interference and question why I can’t let go. This is possibly down to the fact that when you’ve had the same mind-set for 24 years it’s pretty hard to just stop.

Talking to my counsellor today has made me see that I’ve hesitated and not let go of the past because I’m allowing the same old problems to resurface in times when I am down and that unless I put my foot down and alter this pattern then unfortunately these feelings won’t change and the pressure will build.

I know in myself that I can’t alter my shakes however I can alter who I want to be for the better. Maybe if I do so then this will enable me to cope with the necessary stresses life brings such as trying for a family. You owe it to yourself to be who you want to be and not what you think others want from you.

To conclude today’s post. There is a saying out there that really made me open my eyes and that was:

“Never get so busy with life that you forget to take the time to live”

Draw what you will from it but I think that quote pretty much says it all don’t you?


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