Epilepsy, change and reminising.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”- Dr Wayne Dyer

Change. People’s reaction to it is like marmite you either love it or you hate it.

Me I’m not a big lover of marmite the smell of it makes me want to reach and the idea of having to have it on any savoury snacks is a waste of time. On the flip side change too was something that has taken me over twenty years to try and marvel even though I tend to hit a brick wall at times.

Ask yourself this before reading on. Can you embrace change at the drop of a hat or are you one of those people that tend to run in the opposite direction when the word change is mentioned?

To me change is like an obstacle course. At first hand you look at the course and think “Bloody hell how on earth am I going to get to the finish line” however deep down you know you’ll eventually get there, it’s just a matter of whether you’ve done it in the timescale you’ve set for yourself.

With regards to the outsiders looking in at the same course (i.e. friends, family, colleagues) they are there to support you. They just want you to help yourself and get to the finish line. The time it takes to get there is irrelevant, it’s the finishing that’s the most important.

I was never a person who embraced change.

To this day there are occasions where I get anxious however don’t panic like I once did. I think this is partly down to age, experience and knowing that when all’s said and done that I’ve given it a good go. As my blog says it’s about overcoming worry and learning to cope with anxiety.

When I was younger I looked at my condition as a burden. It was like carrying a very large weight on my shoulders 24/7. The constant strain that I would put on myself to overcome this condition on occasion would engulf my life and take over. I should have been focused on the simpler things such as being a child. This should have been my number one priority.

To not be in control was something I didn’t react well to.

If anything I don’t blame my condition like I once did. I thank Epilepsy for portraying to me that life isn’t all about having control. It’s about being in control of scenarios that you can be and accepting the ones you aren’t.

By accepting the lack of control you can have can prepare you for those situations.

When it came to discussing seizures it would be something that made me feel on edge particularly when the odd seizure would result in me wetting myself.

Apart from the day I was diagnosed when I got my mountain bike, roller blades etc there have been moments where I would put my head down in shame because I didn’t feel like I was living the life I wanted to live because of my condition. Looking back that way of thinking was ludicrous however couldn’t be helped at the time.

Epilepsy is something that can happen to anyone at any time however to me Epilepsy is all I’ve ever known.

What I’m trying to explain here is that life is too short to sit there and wonder. Life is to be lived.

What I’ve noticed over the years is that unfortunately we tend to focus on the lack of our ability instead of the positive elements we can bring to the table.

Instead of looking at the positive aspects of our life such as the hobbies we excel in, the music we love, the family we adore and the partners we have we look at the seizures, the episodes, the shakes and draw a conclusion based on those and not who we are.

This way of thinking is something we should take a step back from and draw a conclusion based on what we have to offer not what our condition has to offer.

What I would recommend is this.

Look at each day as a new day. Have a plan and base each hour of the day as being a goal accomplished whether this be making a cup of tea, eating healthier, thinking healthier, exercising for an extra five minutes or just learning a new craft.

Every hour can be your hour in which you can train your mind to embrace change and to see that life isn’t all about seizures, insecurities and medication constraints. It’s about you enjoying the people around you but most importantly enjoying your own company because I bet you you ain’t that bad!

As for the remainder of my day.

If I had a pair of bollocks slim in 6 would have officially bust them after today. That DVD is deceiving. It looks easy but it bloody well isn’t.

As for the food well.. My main meals are healthy however I had access to chocolate hob nobs in my meeting today therefore had to have a couple to quench my chocolate needs. On a plus note I have cut my coffee intake down resulting in a little bit more energy! Wooooooo!!

Overall in myself I’m starting to get back on track. I would like to thank you all personally for your love and support through these past weeks. As advocates and as people who I’d like to call friends you really have made me see that we can all help one another and that there are decent people in the world.

To conclude today’s post. I know times are tough however do things in your own time at your own speed. As someone I read once wrote You have to be before you can do ad do before you can have. The choice is yours.


3 thoughts on “Epilepsy, change and reminising.

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