Accepting you for who you are.

“A life spent making mistakes is not one more honourable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing” – George Bernard Shaw.

Mistakes. Oh that word. Everyone makes them. Everyone is partial to making mistakes in their lifetime whether you’ve been giving or on the receiving end of it. Unfortunately that’s life and that’s something we have to accept.

You get these people who come out saying “I’ve never made any mistakes in my life” or ” I’ve never had any regrets” or the one that makes me laugh the hardest is “I’ve never had a crossed word with anyone”. What a load of rubbish.

What I fancy like saying is who are you kidding?

It’s right in what George said above. It isn’t necessarily honourable to make mistakes however they are made.

You cannot go through life being all nicey nicey to everyone and everything. You’re bound to mistakes at some point in your life. We’re only human.

Before I start babbling I have to say hello to everyone and apologies for not blogging for just under a week. As some of you are aware I have been extremely busy and not to mention extremely tired also. I have however tried my utmost to keep in contact with you all via twitter.

I rattled off a list of #ff requests today. There’s not enough spaces to write all of your names therefore I send an all user tweet because the people reading this should follow EVERYONE from my follower list you fabulous bunch you.

Thank you all for the responses however deep down I have to admit.. I don’t haven’t got a bloody clue what I’m doing. Here I am coming across all technical however I’m just someone trying to be “down with the kids” and speak the twitter lingo.. hopefully I’ll get there soon.

My medication is playing up and making me feel a lot more tired than usual; so much so I was sent home mid week to regain my strength. My shakes came and I snoozed for all of three hours. Never mind. I’m back on the mend, taking multi vitamins and getting back to my usual silly self.

Do you all find with medication that there’s one specific side effect that well and truly pisses you off? Well apart from my shakes tiredness is the other. I mean I’m tired literally all the time. I can officially say that at 28 years old I am possibly (to my knowledge) the queen of nana naps! I don’t resemble my nan in any way shape or form god rest her soul however I can’t help myself. I could sleep on a washing line if someone let me.

Anyhow enough of the doom and gloom I best explain my reasoning behind this evenings quote.

I’m going to be blunt and say it as it is. I’m literally sick of being someone who whinges that’s all I seem to do. Winge about not eating healthier, whinging about my tiredness and whinging that the cat is a dirty stop out spending all night gallivanting while I’m sitting in the house like any mother impatiently waiting for her child to return home from a night on the tiles.

I now intend to take my own advice for a change and that is to get out there and live my life because whinging about it is only depriving me of what I should be doing.. enjoying myself.

Ever since I was diagnosed I’ve blamed my condition for everything. I’ve blamed my epilepsy for the choices I’ve made and the situations I’ve got myself into. To be brutally honest my condition may have restricted me from certain things however I am responsible for my own actions as are you.

Life is like a waltzer going round and round to the point where you do at times get a little dizzy. Instead of being spun because you wanna go faster there’s this little part of you deep down is saying “Stop the ride I’m gonna be sick”. To me this is what I’ve put onto myself for many years and am in the process of changing.

The other day when I returned home I went into bed feeling rather blue. I lay there wishing I could have fought harder to remain at work or analysing what I could have done differently to prevent my episode from arising.

Deep down apart from maintaining a positive attitude nothing could have been done. It was my body’s way of telling me that I was tired and I had to digest that and sleep it off. It was only three hours later after I awoke that I acknowledged this issue and moved on from it.

Epilepsy is a condition that may feel like it’s taking every ounce of strength you have however deep down you need to realise that you’re the strong one, not the condition. You’re the one making changes everyday to adapt your attitude and that in itself deserves a massive pat on the back.

Epilepsy and anxiety are struggles but you show me something that isn’t. It’s hard however we get through. We discuss and act like a barrier for one another to seek that all important advice. That shouldn’t be knocked that’s something that should be praised.

Basically what I’m saying is that although you have to take ownership of your life there are certain things even you cannot prevent whether that be something ranging from a seizure to redundancy at work. You cannot alter these. You’ve all probably heard of the saying “Turn that frown upside down” well go ahead and do it, see how you feel.

On a lighter note. The healthy eating well..

I’m not going to lie I’ve had a couple of bars of chocolate however managed to eat healthy with everything else. If you count sleeping in the mix then I’ve worked out so hard during the past week. If not then I’ve only completed three nights. As I’m now back on the multi vitamins I intend to get back on the horse and show it what it’s made of.

As for the family all is well. I’ve managed to catch up with a few and managed to get a “Dad cuddle” the other night after he popped round to check on his daughter’s welfare. I have to admit that even 28 years on one of the highlights has to be my dad’s cuddles. As soppy as it may sound he’s always there to lift my spirits and make me smile. Merge my dad’s humour with the small amount of humour my husband and I have then you have a weird yet quite funny concoction.

Over the course of the evening my dad did his usual slagging everyone off and gloating that in a couple of days time both him and my stepmother were jetting to various parts of Europe before finishing it all off at a friend’s wedding in Italy. Jammy buggers. You’ve got to love him.

To conclude this evening’s post.

Acceptance is something I consistently write about however feel that in my own personal journey acceptance along with managing to laugh at yourself are two vital pieces of my puzzle that has enabled me to move forward. As for making mistakes well you’re bound to make them however again that’s just life. Sometimes we cannot beat about the bush we have to just say it as it is.

You shouldn’t knock yourself you should appreciate that sometimes we don’t get it all right however understanding our decisions can in fact make us stronger not weaker. Remember there’s only one you. There’s no point in being a second rate version, just be who you are. That’s more than enough.


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