Stop comparing.. look up instead of down.

“Self confidence is the most attractive quality a person can have. How can anyone see how awesome you are if you cannot see it yourself?”- Unknown.

The quote above is something that pretty much sums up today’s events and by god it’s ever so true. Attractiveness isn’t about having the best of everything it’s about being the best that you can be and showing the world that you’re awesome.

Originally I wasn’t going to blog this evening as I’ve had errands to do however as I cannot sleep I thought I’d blog instead catching up on posts I’ve missed creating over the course of the week passed.

What is it with self confidence? It can be the Bain of people’s lives and is probably up there in the top five of insecurities.

Some people are petrified of letting their guard down out of fear that they’ll be rejected for looking/behaving a certain way, others ooze confidence and couldn’t give a shit about what people think. The rest of us seem to hover in between questioning ourselves occasionally and wondering what we can do to ooze the confidence the people we know have.

The first thing that springs to my mind when using the word self confidence is the way people look it’s the constant comparison between you and them.

They’re perfect you’re not, they’re more intelligent you’re not, they’re healthy you’re not they’ve got the perfect partner, you’ve haven’t. I mean the list is endless. Sometimes I think why do people get into this way of thinking. It’s bloody ludicrous.

What I’ve identified is that we don’t have to change ourselves to be like anybody. We just need to be us and come to terms with our own faults. It’s all about focusing on you.

By erasing these faults can enable us to have a more fulfilled life. Earning pots of cash, driving a sports car, having an enormous mansion is all materialistic it’s what I’d like to call part time happiness. Money can help release the tension of financial burden hence alleviating any stress that life can bring however what is it going to achieve?

You’ve still got your condition, you’ve still got insecurities and trust me once one element of doubt has gone unless you change your thought pattern it’s highly likely that you’ll drift back into your usual pattern. It’s about changing, cutting yourself some slack and understanding that you too are fabulous in your own unique way.

Today I overheard a couple a little older than me discussing their own lives.

Trying to ignore it my intrigue got the better of me and I overheard them comparing themselves to their friends and believing that their own lives meant nothing. They looked sad like their life meant nothing and you know what it was sad to see. The disappointment in their voices spoke volumes and made me question where I stand on the social ladder and whether we should be comparing ourselves to our fathers, forefathers and people close to us.

The hardest thing was there was this part of me wanted to turn round and tell them that their own lives are important and that idle chit chat such as “How great their lives are, their relationships, their health, jobs and social status” is irrelevant. It’s irrelevant because what people document on paper or discuss over a cuppa may be a load of old cobblers, in fact sometimes you can paint a picture that is in fact a destination than reality.

Ask yourself this what’s the point in clouding your own mind with “I want to have..” Why not go out and live your life instead of comparing yourself to others? It’s a waste of time.

After returning home today the conversation got me thinking. Surely we should just be satisfied with what we have and make subtle changes to the things we want from life. It’s what my gran would say “Being happy with your lot”.

For many years I would look at others wishing that I was like them and doing so by sticking in at University getting the degree, having a larger home and being comfortable however within seconds of reminiscing my thought pattern took a different route. Instead of thinking of the things I should have had I started looking around me at the things I have right now.

Why should you go down a path others want for you? Go down your path and don’t allow others to bring you down to their level to make them feel better.

Take the scenario above for instance. If I stuck in at University I would have been unhappy and alone. I wasn’t interested I wanted to work not study. As for the rest of it well it may never have happened and who’s to say I would have been as happy as I am right now?

Either way my Epilepsy was an insecurity and since coming home I’ve managed to tackle my insecurities, tackle my worry. marry the love of my life and stand on my own two feet.

With me what you see is what you get. I’ve listed everything from my condition, my side effects, my worries and most importantly the experiences I’ve faced over the past 20 years to help others.

I want others to see that having a condition such as Epilepsy is something that gives you the strength to progress and rise up in times of despair not to hold your head down in shame. Looking down at yourself or others shouldn’t be an option analyse what you are doing right now and if it’s positive run with it. If it’s slightly negative then address the issue and see how you get on.

Life’s too short to be sitting there wondering. That saying was one of the very sayings that stuck into my head after Cognitive Behavioural therapy. To this day I look at life in a way that I never have done before. I look at it as possible not impossible. The fights we all face make us question our ability from time to time however that’s normal. Knowing that you’ve faced this challenge before and won should be an incentive to keep going.

As for the remainder of my day.

I went clothes shopping with my dad for his upcoming holiday to Italy for a friends wedding. Over the course of the past few months my dad’s lost just over two stone and is looking healthy and positively glowing (even under the stubbly beard he has).

My dad would like to think of himself as a fashion guru. Shopping wise for me my dad’s on trend but for himself sometimes his way of thinking is a little tainted and he needs guiding in the right direction.

Therefore off we toddled to a shopping centre nearby for my dad to be made over. Dad’s eyes were well and truly opened more so when I introduced my dad to my best friend… The straight jean.

My dad’s legs are like chicken legs they’re narrow and gangly. He’s got a warm heart and a cracking personality however my dad’s legs.. well… what can I say?

Dad wearing bootcuts has started to swamp his narrower frame therefore I thought it would be best for my dad to give them a go and wow how he loved them bless him. I’ve never seen someone gorp at his figure so much. For all of three hours my dad had turned into a woman browsing through other fashions to go with his new garments.

As for the remainder of the day I’ve visited family, had an extremely tasty pasta dish all courtesy of my husband and had a small glass of white to finish it off. As today has been rather hectic exercise will resume tomorrow along with my new healthy eating plan all prepared on the blackboard. No galaxy’s allowed.

To conclude today’s post. You are you not everyone else.

Bollocks to everyone else stop looking down and start looking up. When you hit the bottom there’s only one way you’re going to go and that’s up. Looking down is like opening a can of worms.

Comparing yourself to everyone else is just wasted energy and you’re stronger than that, you prove that on a daily basis by coping with the condition you have. Don’t let anyone dent that courage. You’re pretty nifty just the way you are.

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