Tonight’s post is a relatively quick one everyone.. yeah right says she who tends to write an essay every time she writes. For those who don’t know me by now should be aware that I write the way I feel. I cut the crap and try to say it like it is.
Whilst I type I’ve got Nicholas Cage in Ghost Rider. This film is an absolute turkey!
I’ve only watched five minutes and judging by his acting I have no desire to watch this film. Apart from him in Face Off I’ve thought the remainder of his films are extremely poor. Much prefer films that have De Niro or Pacino in.
I’m more of a thriller sort of girl that all slush. Don’t get me wrong I like the idea of being in love however too much slush sends me to sleep therefore give me Casino or Goodfellas anyday.
Instead of using a quote I thought I would spice it up a tad and use a lyric instead:
” We are shining and we will never be afraid again”- Florence and the Machine.
I absolutely love Florence and the Machine. Better still I love dancing to Florence and the Machine amongst others. My eyes tend to travel across the TV screen when I watch Florence sing and glide across the stage. Her voice is so enchanting and makes me eager to listen to more.
This evening I decided to use this quote because I think we should all be shining not hiding away wondering when the next episode is going to hit us. The previous post I’d written was about embracing change, was to focus on what was important and making you a priority. It was about breaking old habits and taking your time.
I have interpreted this lyric possibly in a different sense to others reading this. I look at it as life changing and instead of being afraid at what life has to offer try to go out there and show the world what you’re made of. I’ve always been a great believer in striving for more however I’ve found that sometimes striving too hard appears to land me in hot water with me either getting frustrated or adding to the daily stresses life can bring.
It’s about breaking the cycle, staying determined and achieving what you can however understanding that at times pushing too hard can have an adverse effect on your health.
A question for you all. Have you ever felt like the whole world is caving in on you and you’re uncertain why? Have you ever wanted to sit in a corner and cry on the hope you’re worries will go away? I did many a time when I was diagnosed.
After having seizures when I was younger and them returning in my late teens I thought about giving up and would sit in my bedroom questioning why they had returned. Was it because I was a failure for returning or was it because I had been seizure free for so long and it wanted to come back with a bang to show it was still in my life?
To this day I still don’t know. More importantly do I want to know after so many years have passed? Possibly not.
For years I looked for answers to these questions however at present I’m accepting that I may never find the answer. Sometimes looking for an answer can cause more stress than what you initially thought.
In all stressful situations our patience will be tested and at times we will feel like we are sinking however sometimes we need to briefly evaluate what we want, how we can help ourselves and not be afraid to open up. Just because you have anxiety, epilepsy or an underlying condition doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be heard.
In my case I was a girl with Epilepsy not someone with a large piece of tape over my mouth. Originally I was thinking it was others silencing me however the only person who was putting silencing herself was me. It wasn’t anyone else.
I would speak about my Epilepsy however didn’t want the talking about it to be my be all and end all. I wanted to be able to show that I was trying to cope with my condition however wanted to prove to myself that I could have a life also.
What is evident to me now is that I was ashamed of my condition and all the side effects my medication would bring. Now I’m prepared to open up and reveal to myself that my condition won’t define me, it just makes me a stronger person as I have to think before I act incase I have that setback.
This is what I would like to educate to others. I’ve said numerous times life is about the living. Within reason (seizures permitting) live your life the way you want.
I understand it’s extremely difficult because there is the downside of the fear of the unknown however what we should be doing is removing the fear and leaving the unknown because if an episodes going to come it’s going to come whether we eliminate the fear or not. This is what I’m trying to teach myself and if you feel you’re up to thinking the same way then come join me and let’s have a chat.
As for the past 24 hours it’s been quite relaxing actually.
Yesterday was about dining with my pal for an Italian and a chinwag before returning home to catch up on this years Big Brother. Thank god Wolfy went what a strange girl. I liked her bolshiness at times however that spitting was disgusting making me want to vom everytime.
As for today the sun has been shining, it’s been scorching and I’ve loved it. Off my husband and I travelled to the in laws for a cuppa and a natter along with pinching a paste table before returning home for a quick tidy round and a well deserved sit in the garden.
I’ve never known a summer to be this glorious since I was about 14 (oh dear). My husband and I are donning a rosy glow and I’m hoping this turns brown instead of peeling. Fingers crossed.
Apart from a kit kat my diet has been going ok. There’s room for improvement therefore I’m persevering with my challenge knowing that this should hopefully change for the better.
As for my exercise regime I pushed myself this morning to level 3 of Kill Jill’s 30 day shred. My legs are wobbly however I’m hoping Saz Fonda may be on her way back so if you see me wearing lycra turn and run! This isn’t a good look! I can see my body getting stronger that long may this continue.
To conclude today’s post. We are shining and we will never be afraid again. Do a Florence. Shine like the brightest star and do it with class. Sing it like you mean it and know that you deserve all the happiness in the world. Break the stigma and keep going. I know you can do it. Better still let’s do this together.
PS: See I wrote another essay. Told you x