“If you don’t risk the unusual you will have to settle for the ordinary”- Jim Rohn
Before I start writing I need to make you all aware I’ve had a large glass of wine so if I start rambling then I apologise now however I will try my utmost not to. Haha!
You can all pull me if I forget to edit any potential spelling mistakes.
Tonight’s quote basically sums up the past 24 hours.
It’s ok to stand still for a while however there are times where it’s necessary to implement change and to not settle for the ordinary. What someone else’s interpretation of ordinary is for you doesn’t have to necessarily coincide with your opinion of what you want for you.
Before I continue I’d ask that you take a moment out and ask yourself what do I want? Do I want to feel good about myself?
When it comes to GP’s well the same rules apply actually. Again ask yourself the same question however change the want to help and the I to doctor.
How is a doctor going to help me? Jot down questions you want to ask and take it from there. If you’re doctor doesn’t want to know then make them listen because you have ever right to have your questions answered.
For all of you who are updated on Sazzle’s blog will be well aware that the anticipation surrounding my GP’s appointment was putting me on edge and although nothing had been set in stone there was the possibility that my GP would stop me in my tracks and prevent me of getting past the first hurdle on the track of trying for a baby.
I think it’s the first time in a long time I’ve thought bollocks enough’s enough I have to want what’s best for my family (i.e my husband and I) because we deserve to be happy. Everyone deserves to have happiness in their life and I was getting a little sick of fannying about and decided that jumping in head first was the only option.
Fortunately my GP was a blessing in disguise.
Prior to entering my appointment yesterday afternoon I ensured that I drank as much water as I could, went to the loo numerous times following my water intake and had in my mind what I intended to ask her.
The main questions that seemed to repeatedly go through my mind was “Are you going to reduce my meds” and “Where do I go from here”
Before entering my appointment the anxiety started to kick in slightly. My hands were sweaty, my feet tapping on the hard surface and my fingers twitching. The concern was there for all to see and I wanted so desperately for her to tell me I would be ok.
Within seconds of entering my GP’s office my mind was put to some form of ease with my GP not only acknowledging my concerns but giving me a prescription and referring me to not only my neurologist but my epilepsy nurse also.
I have been informed that hopefully I will see both within the next four months and that we can get well underway with the plan ahead of us.
Sitting in my GP’s office wasn’t as alarming as I dreamt it would be.
What I did find out is that depending upon the medication you’re on and the seizures you have will determine what outcome your neurologist will make.
My GP confirmed that women suffering from epilepsy can have children naturally following tweaks to medication. Every person is different therefore ensure you’re checked before jumping to any conclusions. This is what I started to do before making my appointment with the GP.
If the medication you’re on is preventing the seizures from happening then it’s up to you and your neurology team to devise a plan to ensure that the welfare of yourself and unborn child aren’t at risk. If not then it should be up to your neurologist to run through EVERYTHING with you as to why you have to postpone having children. Leaving you in the dark SHOULD NOT be the answer.
The discussion with my GP continued for many minutes. I understand fully that although I may be able to extend my family that there are higher risks involved with reduction in my medication, adding folic acid into my regime and de-stressing myself must come top of the list before we proceed further.
A question for you all. GP’s friend or foe? Are you afraid of what they’re going to say or is it more of a chore for you? Either way we all know that seeing a GP usually puts our mind at rest.
It isn’t going to be a walk in the park however there may be light at the end of the tunnel with this one therefore my fingers are well and truly crossed. Either way I will keep you all updated with any progress.
What is prominent is that support has been given not only by my family but by the medical profession. On the build-up to my appointment the fear went through me at the fact that I would possibly be unable to have children, that my Epilepsy would become hereditary and that the condition I had to battle with my entire life would be passed onto my unborn child with me powerless to stop it.
Since speaking with pals I’ve decided that whatever will be will be. If it isn’t meant to be then it isn’t meant to be.
Worrying shouldn’t be factored into the equation when it comes to anything really particularly this. In my eyes necessary worry is losing your home, losing your job, putting your child/relatives welfare first. Anything else should be secondary however I feel that at times we all fall into the same category worrying over trivial things such as what to wear or how we are going to fit all our tasks into one day.
It’s a matter of prioritising and accepting that we will just have to do one task at a time and leave the remainder for another day. Worrying is not to erase the issue altogether therefore let’s club together, help one another and leave the worry well alone.
Beating myself up over a scenario that may never happen isn’t going to put my mind at ease in fact it could make my health deteriorate.
As distressing as it may feel if we were to have a child and that child had my condition then we would have to educate that child the way my support network assisted me in times of need. My family were one to drop everything for me and make me understand that you could live a life with Epilepsy.
At times you will find that you are restricted however shouldn’t feel restrained at the fact you can’t have a life. Your life is to be lived and if you want it then you’ve got to go and get it.
Walking out of my appointment I felt elated like someone had listened and made me feel like there was hope. If that GP couldn’t help me then I would have needed to get that second opinion something I would advise others to do if you’re not getting the support you need. You’re entitled to as many opinions as you like therefore never settle for second best.
As for the remainder of my day well that’s consisted of walking along the riverbank with my dad. I haven’t seen my dad for over three weeks and we had a good old natter.
Initially my food choices were spot on with me opting for cereal, fruit juice, water and a jacket potato for lunch. Before long an ice cream was eaten followed by a burger and a cupcake with custard. The choices were disastrous and I felt like shit. The more I ate the worse I felt.
I can’t even blame any women problems for the munching it was just greed. That’s usually my get out of jail free card however not today my friends.. not today.
As this is the case choices have to be made right now.
I’m not going to put the pressure on “eating healthy” because as soon as I pile pressure then I fail. I will therefore look at my choices sensibly and allow my other half to eat the bad things leaving only the healthier foods in view. I’m also not going to be harsh on myself either.
Small changes can turn into continuous improvement therefore I have a task ahead that I should call “Sazzle’s fast food no go challenge”
Day one of this challenge will commence tomorrow. Wish me luck!
To conclude today’s post. Doctors I’m not a great fan to be honest however yesterday was a step in the right direction. I’m hoping the impossible may be made possible. When it comes to settling for the ordinary only you can make that decision.
Personally speaking I feel that sometimes we need to test ourselves to see that “we’ve still got it” and that we are capable of wanting more for ourselves. What I would suggest is that whatever you feel about yourself bottle the goodness up, throw away the negativity and focus on how great you can be. Don’t run. Stand up tall and be proud.