Waving goodbye to down days and saying hello to polished feet.

Good evening everyone.

For all my American followers who may be tuning in tonight Happy 4th of July.

I appreciate this is a very sacred and special day for you all so enjoy yourself and have a drink on me.. it may eventually get over there sometime before the next 4th of July by carrier pigeon.

Unfortunately my 4th of July isn’t going as swimmingly as yours. To me today has been a long one. A one of headaches, laughs and despair. The reason why I say this is that the cooker isn’t working and there’s bugger all in the house so I’ve had to eat unhealthy (fish and chips to be precise- wasn’t miffed whilst eating it but felt rather bloated after) but even worse still I think my kettle’s on the brink.

You know how I think having a cuppa resolves every issue? Well there’s only one way to resolve this one. Buy another.

Usually with other appliances (bar the essentials) I would rather wait however when it comes to a kettle well unfortunately I cannot budge. My sensible head must come out and purchase another. This is my task for the weekend.

Before I prattle on about everything and nothing I best jot down the quote of the day:

“When planning for a year plant corn. When planning for a decade plant trees. When planning for life educate people”-Chinese proverbs

And so I shall.. or I’ll give it a good go. Planting corn or trees I don’t think will ever be my forte however trying to educate others about being positive is something I try my utmost to do to not only motivate others but myself in times of trouble.

We all have down days don’t we? We all have those days where we revert back to our old selves and feel down in the process.

Since coming out of therapy just under two years ago I have this new lease of life however sometimes revert back to the insecure needy Saz who requires reassurance constantly. This tends to happen when I feel bogged down with pressure and worry. Things like that can happen after a large shake, a seizure, a decision gone bad or a level of uncertainty.

At present family health worries, forward planning and reoccurring tiredness is making me need that reassurance. I know in my head that I should just focus on what I have and keep taking those baby steps I’ve talked about in previous posts to erase the negativity.

Feeling needy and having a worried frame of mind is a weakness in my personality that I am still trying to eradicate in order for me to move on and appreciate that others have their own lives to lead. I have on many of occasion particularly with my family pestered them to the point of extreme needing someone to reassure me that all was well.

This is the old me. This is the person who hides behind everyone and everything and just needs to feel wanted. Nowadays I very rarely have these moments and usually kick myself in the arse when I do revolve back because I know I’m stronger than this and are just doubting myself. Maybe I kick myself because I’m allowing the old insecure me to rear it’s ugly head. I don’t like this side of me and want to change it once and for all.

Deep down I know that I’m a bubbly girl who although cares for others must realise that life never stands still and that I am a fraction of someone else’s life. Sometimes you need to be yanked out of the frame of mind you’re in.

One word of advice I’d always give. You can never go through life not upsetting anybody. You’re bound to have disagreements with the ones you care for however to brush it off and accept that everyone is different is the only way for us to move forward in our families/friendships/relationships etc. It’s the acceptance of others and understanding that we aren’t from the same mould.

When I was diagnosed with Epilepsy I became this needy worried young girl whose insecurities would walk along with her. A perfect example would consist of having a good time, interpret something someone may have said incorrectly and then either apologise or feel shit about it all day. I mean come on what’s all that about?

Say goodbye to that worried person because you don’t need to be that worried person. Life is about accepting fault, accepting that you are only human and that condition or not there’s no need to be insecure about yourself. You have your own life to lead. I know I have to read this in times of stress and take it in because saying and doing should be the same thing not two different things.

Since having the whole baby thing on my mind I have become needy lately particularly with my parents and to be honest with you I shouldn’t be that way. Maybe it’s because I feel like I need their guidance. Deep down I know that ultimately I have to stop worrying about whatever could be and look to the future. Time cannot stand still because of a niggle in my head.

A word of advice for you all. Leave your worries at the back door. Don’t look back look forward. See the person you want to be and not the person you think you’re going to turn into because of this needy aspect of your personality. Be around the people who care and fuck the people who don’t. Sometimes it’s best to receive criticism than none at all. We are all bound to have down days. It’s the bouncing back that counts the most so bare that in mind.

As for the rest of my day well work was a barrel of laughs. Whilst working my colleagues and I had a chuckle. The exercise is in full swing and as for my diet it seems to be alright however the slip ups are apparent. This is the thing with work.

Temptation is there therefore I must plan my meals properly and get someone to hide the sweet treats. The one thing with work is that although you get you’re job done you’re mind can get bored quite easily hence trying to find the food. I have decided to devise a little plan. Leave myself a little reminder on my blackboard in the kitchen to NOT LET MY EXERCISE GO TO WASTE fingers crossed this will stop me from reaching for the next biscuit.

Another thing.. you may all question why I’ve incorporated the saying “hello to polished feet” into my title. Well. For all you people who are afraid to go to a chiropodists well I have the perfect solution for you. I think the solution is called Medi Pedi and you can get item from QVCUK.

As manky as this sounds I do (like a lot of people who don’t wear appropriate footwear or take medications) have hard skin on my feet. I’m a bit of a rotter because I love peeling hard skin off feet. As my feet were diabolical I was swayed to buy the medi pedi.

The medi pedi are a pair of boots filled with various amino acids and are supposedly perfect for sensitive skin. You put on these booties for up to 90 minutes putting a pair of socks over the top. The solution literally eats away at the hard flesh before shedding to reveal the new polished foot. Pink and yellow free.

The treatment itself can take a month because your feed shed like an old snake. I’m constantly having to hoover because wherever I go my shedding feet come with me! If I get lost follow the skin…

You have to try to refrain from picking and bathe your feet daily. Once complete you should have a new foot. Groovy eh? Well I’m in love with them. Anything beats looking at my Syjoe bob feet.

Anyhow to conclude this evenings post. Wave goodbye to those reoccurring down days.

There’s going to be times where we need the constant reassurance however we must take that step back and see what the actual problem is. Sometimes it’s best to get our feelings off our chest in one fail swoop than constantly going over the same thing. Maybe we need to take the advice of others in a bid to help ourselves and understand that there’s a problem there. Talking is a great policy however self belief is even stronger. Delve into you and see what happens. You may like what you see.


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