“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life”- Winston Churchill.
Now I apologise in advance for the mini rant however when I saw this quote this morning I thought about standing up for yourself.
This morning when I woke up I was not only overjoyed at the fact that I’d pencilled a week off work and was contemplating going in to save some time. The more I thought about it the more I thought what the hell.
I’ve pencilled some time off for a reason and I’m going to enjoy myself as much as I can catching up with family, friends, attending rescheduled doctors appointments and just generally making time for me.
When it comes to quotes that illustrate strength then Winston Churchill is up there with the best of them.
His quotes seem to hit home with me and make me understand that throughout life it’s understandable that on occasion you’ll hit the odd brick wall and that we must take the rough with the smooth to gage a true reflection on what life has to offer.
When it comes to having Epilepsy you have to demonstrate a level of resilience and on occasion focus on how you’re going to continue instead of just sitting there feeling sorry for yourself.
After returning back from University I had approximately 17 seizures in an 18 month period.
Now to some this may seem rather low however in my case I was never used to having more than one seizure every three months therefore one a month raised questions that I needed answering. From the ages of 17-22 I was on a knife’s edge and was waiting for the next one to rear it’s ugly head. My medication fluctuated more times in a year than it had in ten and I was so pissed off that I wanted to tell the doctors where to go and to come off medication entirely.
How silly was I back then? Yes I felt that way however knew this wasn’t going to achieve anything.
As you may be aware from previous posts read I had the unpleasant experience of having a neurologist who couldn’t give a toss. To him I was a statistic. To him I was a young adult who was lead to believe that he gave a damn and that I was meant to accept that whatever he said was gospel and that I had to follow his instruction.
From the get go I knew there was a rabbit off and this man was someone who hadn’t researched my personal file properly, he was someone who would rather pass the buck than take on the responsibility of ensuring that I was in good health and that together we could tackle these episodes once and for all.
Upon diagnosis back in 1993 I remember looking at doctors believing everything they said because in my eyes they were the individuals that would prescribe the “magic medicine” to make you better therefore never questioned their authority.
Coming face to face with this tosser every three months was something that would not only make my blood boil but would make me anxious at the idea that this wealthy doctor was siting there prattling on asking the same questions at every visit.
The day eventually came when I had my day with my neurologist and plucked up the courage to ask for a second opinion. Much to my specialists dismay him and I didn’t exchange pleasantries and I told him exactly what I thought.
Having a medical condition throws up so many obstacles. Now I’m not writing this wanting sympathy I just want to see if people feel the way I feel. It appears that support networks know more than our doctors do. I’ve managed to understand my condition more through support groups, blogs, and conversations online than I have from some the higher and well paid members of staff in the medical profession.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not belittling the staff that sacrifice their own lives for others however get the impression that support groups are more in sync with the minds of the individual and appear to want to help more. This is something I’ve noticed when I’ve needed advice.
I have never been someone who particularly likes confrontation however believe if it’s necessary then why can’t we not stand up for what’s right? Surely people should be treat with respect and if you want respect then you’ve got to earn it. It takes nothing to say please and thank you.
We live in a world nowadays that’s governed by people who feel that we are a nation that practices freedom of speech however hasn’t actually tapped in to the fact that we don’t.
Today’s society is all about watching your back, watching your P’s and Q’s, moderating the way you behave and being extra careful that you don’t offend anybody.
What we really need to ask ourselves is why should we feel bad about letting down others when they let us down repeatedly? Surely we can stand up for ourselves, put our happiness first and think to ourselves that you’re not going to be a doormat, in fact you’re a worthy individual who deserves so much more than second best.
I was someone who would be petrified at the fact of cutting contact with people who I believed would be there through thick and thin however unfortunately it doesn’t always turn out that way. Some people can be malicious because if they aren’t centre of attention then they don’t want to know you. On the flip side people’s priorities change, they get older and their lives are centred more on their families than the life they once had.
Another scenario is Facebook. I was watching something on UK Living before I went to the GP’s office today and I was in hysterics.
Now apologies if I offend anyone here but this is my personal view.
Now I know I’m on Facebook to promote Sazzle’s blog however haven’t had a personal account on Facebook since about 2007. As a youngster I would speak to people who had Facebook accounts who would fall into the trap of making a ton of friends the majority of which couldn’t give two hoots about you in real life.
You may find that these know you but never actually said hello to you at school or people who want to be your friend so they can really meddle into your life without you really knowing.
If you’ve got a great deal of friends or make friends with people who genuinely care then great but I can’t get my head around it.
Facebook is an excellent source of information particularly when you’ve got an event to plan, a business to promote or wish to raise awareness however Facebook can also be your worst enemy. Facebook causes more problems in friendships, relationships and everything in between usually over a marital status or a status update.
It’s like school yard behaviour when a Facebook “conversation” goes sour. I know this from people I’ve spoken to in the past and it raises one word. Why?
What we should be doing is living our lives instead of worrying about what he said, she said on Facebook. What we should be saying is “Who cares less about what someone says on Facebook?”
I say this but about about six years ago I would have been in a fluster. Now I’m just wondering what all the fuss is about.
You usually find people mouth off on Facebook because they don’t have the balls to do it to your face. I mean honestly what’s all that about? How did we get our point across before social networking? The mind boggles.
Change was something that would worry me and still does at times. What we should be doing is removing the negativity and prioritising what’s most important in our lives. The remainder shouldn’t be worth your tears.
Growing up in the eighties and early nineties was something that was far simpler than the way we currently live our lives. Saying something out of turn would make other people think thus resulting in a decision being made instead of being brushed to one side and forgotten about to prevent drama being caused. Surely making a decision promptly would prevent those problems escalating and more damage being caused.
Now it’s all about going to the far ends of a fart to get something resolved whether it be medication changes, insurance claims or even just returning an item of clothing without having to barter a refund. It’s such a shame people don’t listen as much as you’d like them to. Why can’t we just be able to get our point across without feeling shit afterwards? I don’t think they’ll ever be an answer to this question so I’m gonna stop rambling.
As for today’s actions I went to the doctors this morning for a general checkup and an asthma review. Surprisingly I was in there for 45 minutes- I’m only in appointments for that time during specialist/therapy appointments. The doctor was rather nice having a chat about the weather, how my chest is rather weakened however stressed that I continue with my exercise and double up on my inhalers when required.
Talking about exercise I started Jillian Michael’s killer buns and thighs. I’ve been promised that I’m going to be a lean mean fat grilling machine in no time so I will meet Jillian half way and give it a good go. I may alternate and do the 30 day shred a couple of times a week. Keep your fingers crossed.
Food wise I’ve been rocking and rolling eating special K for breakfast, homemade noodles and a chicken wrap for lunch. I’ve been having my usual cuppa intake and have not eaten chocolate FOR A SECOND DAY RUNNING. Did I write that down right? Woooooo.
Roll on this evening’s meal chicken and veg. Actually come to think of it I’ve forgotten to take the chicken out of the fridge so just plain boring veg. Steamed of course. I may have one Yorkshire pud for good measure.
To conclude today’s post. Stand up for what’s right but more importantly stand up for yourself and want what’s right for you. You shouldn’t have to settle for second best. You should be allowed to live your life to the fullest. No-one particularly likes going to work however we do it so we can enjoy the little luxuries and the occasional meal out with our loved ones.
Stand tall and just be you.