Trying.. It’s better than doing nothing.

Good afternoon everyone.

My husband and I have been away on a mini break to the lakes i.e. “Our home away from home” and have returned rejuvenated and refreshed. As I haven’t blogged for over 48 hours what have I missed?

Today I thought I’d mix up this afternoon’s post with a turn of events instead of my usual quote. Don’t worry I’ll get onto that in a sec.

Going to Windermere is like nothing else. The plus points is that there’s nothing else to do but eat, drink and hike. The downside being is that usually (well approximately 80% of the time) it rains non stop and your mobile phone signal’s rubbish. This time we had a little luck with it raining for half of Friday and a little yesterday evening however the phone signal well… it was still rubbish.

What never ceases to amaze me is the tranquillity the lakes bring and the way stress can disappear in an instant.

The one thing that I enjoy about the lakes is that there’s no trash. You haven’t got people causing havoc wherever you go and everyone comes across as civilised by having the odd pint outside the local pub or most importantly having a clotted cream scone (with jam of course) inside the nearby coffee shop.

You can watch the whole world pass you by and apart from having your umbrella up everywhere you go to you can just relax and adhere to what the lakes has to offer.

The contrast between last and this weekend is unreal. Last week was all about the hectic happenings of good old London town where the city never slept and the moths flying out of my purse after returning home from an evening out not spending anything less than £100 a night. Then you have the lakes where you can mosey around without a care in the world.

Yesterday evening it was all about going to the loveliest little cinema in the world that my husband and I try to retreat to whenever we go. After reading the reviews of the new Michael Douglas film Behind the candleabra I thought I’d give it a whirl.

Established in 1926 this town hall was converted into a mini cinema that consists of three screens airing the current cinema releases. It was like a mini dream. The tickets were £5 each, the confectionary was a fraction of the amount you’d pay nowadays and the cinema screen was covered by a little ruffled curtain.

What made it even more cute was the fact there was a young man who entered just before the film started with a tray of confectionary before saying “Hope you all enjoy the film” aw bless him.

That’s the thing about nostalgia. I can’t get enough of it. That’s the way cinema’s should be today instead of having to pay overpriced tickets, overpriced confectionary and extra charges for 3D glasses. What a con.

As for the film. It was rather good actually. The film itself was about Libarace and his gay lover. The one liners were rather comical and I was in hysterics at one stage. If you like Matt Damon then definitely see because his tush was shown more times than I had sweet treats this weekend.

It’s safe to say these past 48 hours I have eaten like a horse. I have attempted to get the old 50 squats/situps etc in when I could however to be brutally honest with you I couldn’t be bothered. I mean who wants to go to the lakes and do exercise?

Part of my mind was saying yey the other saying ney therefore I did halfy half by swimming 40 lengths of the pool and hiking a little. Other tasks included sunning myself in the steam room, sauna, Jacuzzi and then freezing my wablets off (and hoping my arse would shrink) in the ice room. By gosh that was cold.

The meals were outstanding. The first night I was rather good with a chicken chow mein. Oh how the following day went downhill.

I ate one fish and chips, two chocolate muffins, two steaks with Dianne sauces (veg included), a large bag of minstrels, three coffees daily and copious amounts of food in the B&B we stayed at. So much for my eating healthy. I’ve put on about 5lbs and I’m not impressed.

If Kill Jill was there she’d tell me I was letting myself down and I would return the favour by throwing her into the lake therefore I’m resuming my healthy eating regime tomorrow because I know she’d be right.

The 30 day shred will officially recommence this evening and as my mother has eaten the entire contents of my husband’s chocolate stash then I’m good to go.

Right well enough chit chat I best crack on with the quote of the day:

“Trying times are not the times to stop trying”- Ray Owen.

And rightly so Ray. Trying is not about giving in. It’s about understanding where you’ve gone wrong and learning from it.

My parents used to say that “Trying was better than doing nothing” and as long as you knew you’d tried your best then that was the most important. You may find from time to time that people slot the word trying and failing in the same sentence. Unfortunately they don’t interpret that trying is better than giving in.

What I’ve noticed is that when it comes to a condition such as Epilepsy then failure isn’t an option because people with Epilepsy usually have the same hope. That hope is that our condition will be manageable enough for us to live a normal life; a one where our condition doesn’t necessarily have to get in the way.

It’s the “letting go” effect and knowing that one day we won’t be waking up worrying about our condition but that we’ll be waking up eager to start the day. It’s the achieving our mini goals we set for ourselves is what keeps you motivated even when you’re body’s suggesting otherwise.

There was many a time where I’d just want to wave goodbye to my Epilepsy however knew that this couldn’t be the case. In comparison to changing your outfit or eating healthier Epilepsy is something that tests the human mind both mentally and physically and can feel at times that you’re burning yourself out with the worries a condition such as that can bring.

What we need to decipher is whether it’s the condition stressing us out or whether it’s the stress we are putting ourselves under about a condition that’s out of our control that we must start thinking about.

If you know what the side effects are to your condition then try and put yourself in a position where you can detect the warning signs (in my case it was the anger/worry) and try to find a happy place, a place where you’re comfortable and are feeling relaxed.

Trying is an essential to move on. Trying is something that you should never be afraid to do. What’s the worst that can happen? You’ll fall? So your gut instinct should tell you to get back up and carry on because life’s too short to worry.

Compared to my Epilepsy the anxious Saz would be the one that would hit me the hardest.

Growing up there was always this person who was afraid that I wouldn’t have sufficient friends or that I wouldn’t be liked by all. I’d sit panicking over nothing going to excess to be loved.

Nowadays I couldn’t give a shit, if you don’t like me then that’s your loss. I can’t make you like me. Another thing my family told me “You’ll never be liked by everyone” and they were right.

I still have my moments before going out for a meal where the anxious side of me may come out however I know now what those anxious feelings are and allow them to subside gradually by grabbing a small glass of wine or getting a little fresh air.

Having moments of your old self isn’t a bad thing, it’s the differentiating between the two that’s crucial. It’s the knowing when you’re slipping back into the old you should be enough to shout “STOP” at yourself before continuing down the path you want for yourself not what the old you is telling you.

It’s taken over twenty years of my life to say this but I want what’s right for me now not what everyone else wants for me. I refuse to stop trying particularly when my condition’s involved.

I don’t want to pile the pressure on myself anymore because by applying this method can only result in one thing.. failure. Trying is one thing, being everything to all men is another and unfortunately you cannot be everything to all men. You have to just do the best with what you have.

To conclude today’s post. Trying is a necessity. Many look at trying as being a difficult task or that they are having a trying day. Maybe I interpret trying as something else because that’s all I’ve ever done as a means of getting by. Doing nothing can result in you kicking yourself more than not giving it a go.

There’s another quote about trying that I must share:

“I think I can.. I think I can.. I think I can.. I know I can”

There’s no such word as can’t.


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