It’s the little changes that count the most.

“You don’t have to be great to get started but you have to get started to be great”- Les Brown

Today’s quote is one that has great meaning to it.

You don’t have to be the most intelligent person to stand out from a crowd nor do you have to be the prettiest person out there to be noticed. It’s the way you portray yourself to others that makes you shine brighter.

It’s the expression you make, the progression by feeling comfortable in your own skin and the decisions you make that count the most. Even now I’m learning new things, every day I learn something more about the people I’m surrounded by and it’s only then that I can see where I stand in the grand scheme of things.

With the insecurities I’ve faced I have battered myself down when it was uncalled for. I’ve raised questions that should never have been raised and I have backed myself into a corner with my condition that has made me feel worthless. This is not a way to live therefore I’ve made a promise to myself to be the best I can be and not be what others want from me.

Growing up greatness was having the best that money could buy.

As the majority of my family hadn’t been to university I made it my priority to go down a path that others chose not to go down. In my opinion doing so could potentially enter me into another place far away from my condition. By being a grade A student and earning pots of cash could allow me to be the career woman I always dreamt of being and could give me the life I only dreamt of, the life my grandmother made for herself in the late sixties.

Unfortunately that dream didn’t come into fruition fully (I went to university and returned after a few months) and I felt disappointed in myself. Merge this disappointment with my seizures returning and I felt a complete failure. Bouncing back from this was extremely difficult however something over the years I’ve accepted has happened for a reason. That’s the thing with life. Things do happen for a reason.

You won’t always be inseparable with the friends you once knew or the partners you once fell in love with. Decisions are made that can alter the entire dynamics of your life and can be perceived as being the decision you felt was right at the time. Looking back everyone makes decisions they wish they could alter however by not making that decision could have resulted in you not being in the position you are now and how strong of a person you’re becoming because of that process.

On the question of being great. Life can be a great thing, it can be a blessing however can cause havoc at times. I’m in the middle of making a decision now that could be the turning point in my life. I have come to realise that you cannot compare yourself to others because the life they lead is their life and not yours.

From people I’ve spoken to in the past the question has always been raised of:

Are we ever happy with our lot and if not why not?

When I say this I mean our lifestyle, our homes, jobs, families, friends etc. Yes it would be bloody marvellous to be millionaires or to live a lavish lifestyle however this isn’t the case and cause more friction than what it’s worth.

Ask yourself this. Would you rather have someone around you for you or would you rather have someone that wants to be around you because you’re at they beckon call all of the time?

I have evaluated this so many times in the past and understand that sometimes what you see on the outside isn’t necessarily what is happening on the inside. They say the grass is always greener on the other side however I have to disagree and I’ll explain why.

This morning I read a caption about a teenage boy who wanted so desperately for his Epilepsy to disappear. He would constantly analyse his life without his condition thinking that his life would be so much better without it. Whilst reading this article I noticed that the more I read the more I could see the old me in the way this boy was writing. Although I sympathised with him it got me thinking.

If we didn’t have Epilepsy would the decisions we make harm our health more than the decisions we are currently making?

I know in my case I’m now sensible about the amount of alcohol I consume and although I have never been a massive drinker are aware of my surroundings should an episode take place. I’m in control of me because failure to do so could result in me having a shaky bout and by extension that having an impact on the people around me.

I can’t afford to be consistently stressed out over the simplest of things therefore any negativity in my life now is erased because life’s too short to sit there wondering whether changing things would make life better. Nowadays I think of my granddad telling me to stop worrying, go out there and just be you. That’s the one thing about grandparents. They aren’t in your life for as long as you’d hope however the advice they give you is priceless and makes perfect sense.

On the topic of making sense today has definitely made sense and I haven’t eaten chocolate now for a couple of days.

I’ve been reading through my twitter timeline and getting advice along with words of encouragement from my slimming world buddies who have given me the inspiration to eat healthier. Although I’m not on slimming world I’m starting to understand SW jargon and thinking twice before picking out my favourite foods from the fridge.

Food today has consisted of wheatabix (no sugar), two coffees (one at home, the other a decaf skinny latte from Costa), a cup of tea (no twirl), two homemade chicken wraps with peppers, salsa and cucumber and a small cup of tea.

This evening I’m making homemade hunters chicken with veg but before I enter this glorious homemade concoction I will be entering the world of Jillian Michael’s for a half hour.. Duh Duh Duhhhhhh! The wicked witch of the west with a killer physique.

As for the tan no more steaks just spots of white on a duskier orange skin. I’m off to the lakes again this weekend so am hoping it’s faded even more. If not they hey ho! Haha!!

To conclude today’s post. Those subtle changes are something that can alter our mind-set and can give us the push we need when we are feeling a little blue.

Never regret what you have done because you cannot change the past you can however live your present and start planning for your future. With me my Epilepsy was a burden now I look on it as a part of my life that as much as I never wanted is here to stay for the time being therefore we might as well get on.

Don’t let anyone tell you what you’re doing is wrong because only you know what you want to achieve. Never let anyone tell you differently.

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