Curiosity, orange hands and a whole lot of London town.

“All achievements require time” Maya Angelou

Life is a wonderful thing and something that should be embraced at all times good or bad. The good times usually outweigh the bad and the bad days should make you appreciate how fortunate you are.

My mantra nowadays is that the past is gone, the present is now and the future is yet to be written.

Reading the quote above I wrote at the beginning of this post has enabled me to open my eyes and look at life differently to the way I did ten years ago.

The life I currently live clearly outweighs the life I once lead. I have tried my utmost to eradicate the endless worries of being around the right people, enhancing a career I’m not yet ready to do and realising that there’s more to life that having all the luxuries in the world.

If you were to turn back the clock you would find a young woman wearing a mask. A girl so desperately wanting to be accepted by others who unfortunately couldn’t accept herself. I was someone who would attempt to make people laugh and try to be someone I clearly wasn’t to fit in.

Compared to what I once was I’m someone now who cannot be bothered with egotistical shits who believe everything revolves around them because to be brutally honest it doesn’t.

Growing up I used to be that person who to a degree could change a conversation into a one about me because I couldn’t quite understand what that person was going through. Instead of asking that person to repeat themselves or explain further I’d just jump straight in and that wasn’t acceptable however looking back I know it’s a learning curve.

I could only see what was going on in my head and that at the time was my condition. Nowadays I’m all for wanting to help my fellow man and assist when required hence writing this blog and trying to raise Epilepsy awareness through my experiences.

Since writing this blog my eyes have been well and truly opened, they’ve been opened to the challenges we face as human beings and the sacrifices we make for not only our loved ones but for our own health.

Epilepsy has been a condition that has made me question who I am and what I represent. It’s been the catalyst for me to continue with my life the only way I know how and that’s to get up when you’re repeatedly knocked and show that you will not be beaten by either your condition or the people who gave the impression they had faith in you however their actions suggested otherwise.

Curiosity has been something that I have allowed to dominate my life for over twenty years. Having this condition has made me question myself beyond comprehension however when all’s said and done I’m still standing epileptic episodes or not.

People will try and knock you when you’re down however the motivation to continue, the ability to be able to poke fun at yourself in front of your enemies and the constant educational regime you must endure to understand your condition may appear endless however will make you appreciate life more.

A question for you all. Who gives people the right to poke fun at you when they haven’t walked a day in your shoes?

My dad was always one who thought it was best to bite the bullet and prove to others that irrespective of having insecurities that the show must go on. There’s a fine line between all aspects of life however coincidentally they all seem to come together at some point don’t they?

Whether it be stresses in the workplace, to family troubles or financial hardship they all have an impact on your frame of mind therefore address all issues the best you can to enable you to carry on. It’s like the famous saying Tom Hanks said in Forrest Gump.

“Life is like a box a chocolates you never know what you are going to get”

The same applies with everything in life ranging from seizures to medication issues. Personally I like a nice caramel or one of those coffee chocolates that were discontinued out of the roses tins at Christmas.

On a more serious note as much as we dislike the fact embrace each day as it comes because you literally don’t know what’s round the corner. Having Epilepsy is something you should be proud of getting through on a daily basis because I understand how hard it can be. Living life on a knife’s edge leaves you destined for endless worry and trust me that’s not the nicest life to lead. Never apologise for what you believe in and never change because you are unique in your own fabulous way.

This weekend has been one of turbulence, anticipation and a whole lotta fun because my husband and I went back to London and my oh my didn’t we have a good time.

Before I write about our weekend I will say that the tan went down well however.. my hands were orange! Thank god no one really noticed because I looked like someone had dipped my hands in orange paint (you know hand and foot prints your children paint for you at school) and hadn’t washed them properly. Eeee what a mess!

I tried everything to remove it. Tan remover cloths, body scrub the works and would it hell come off. Talk about a dilemma and a half. Nevermind I laughed it off and consoled myself with purchasing two tops.

Getting away for a mini break clears the soul and leaping into a whole other world is something that makes you eager to continue. This weekend has been one of historic importance with some of the places we have visited along the way being ones that I’ve idolised since being a small child, the tower of London being one of them.

History has always been a great love of mine particularly when our monarchy is involved. There are a significant amount of people who believe the monarchy should be abolished and feel that this country is not great anymore. For a period of time I have to admit I felt the same wondering what the world was coming to and losing that patriotism I was taught growing up however this weekend has made me re-evaluate what made this country great and this weekend it was apparent for all to see.

I adore the Tudor era and going to see the crown jewels was something that not only made me eyes pop into the back of my head because the jewels were gleaming so much. The pomp and ceremony is something that although is very old fashioned is something the Brits do with class and makes me proud to be British. Anything traditional makes me crave more.

From the playing of Land of Hope and Glory to the song Jerusalem (usually played at state affairs and large sport events) makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. As much of a wimp I am I could feel myself getting all choked up whilst walking around one of the grandest architectural buildings of our time.. that and Buckingham Palace of course.

This weekend we dined like kings, bought the occasional garment and walked for miles. I entered Selfridges flagship store and couldn’t believe the size and money people were spending on cosmetics, accessories and jewellery. Selfridges is humongous, you want it, they’ve got it. You could easily spend five hours in Selfridges alone if you really wanted to. It has everything money has to offer and to walk round it was magnificent.

The best was yet to come. We pre booked tickets to see the Lion King at the Lyceum theatre just off Covent Garden. Prior to entering the theatre we opted for a Thai meal and a glass of wine. Street acts were playing in the background. The atmosphere was electric and my money was dwindling but who cares we were in London.

The Lion King is without doubt the most impressive theatrical performance to date I have seen. The set was superb, the costumes were out of this world and the way the actors used masks and electronics to mirror actual animals was so good that it took my breath away. Mind you the price of a lager and a packet of chocolate buttons also took my breath away at £9! Thank god my other half paid because I would have put them back.

If you have not seen the lion king please go and see it. It is the bees knees.

As for my healthy regime it’s well and truly gone out of the window. Tomorrow is a new day and I’m back onto Kill Jill’s exercise plan and am going food shopping healthy style. No more chocolate, no fish and chips. I mean business!

To conclude tonight’s post. Achievements take time and they do. I know you want to run to the finish line as quick as you can however trying to over exceed can destine you for slip ups and disappointment.

What I would urge you to do is see what you like about yourself and every time you have that moment of insecurity home in on what you like and focus on that. As for the worry you can only do the best with what you have therefore don’t stress yourself over the smaller things because what you think and what you feel may be two entirely different things. Remember no one can replace you so learn to accept yourself.

Hey if all else fails think of me with my orange hands. That’ll get you laughing.

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