Improvement, laughter and a belly full of buffet.

Good evening all, back to my usual blogging this pleasant Tuesday evening.

The birds are tweeting away and the cat is sitting in the bird table eagerly awaiting for them to make the blunder of jumping into their usual resting place so he can catch them and bring me a present that I’ll have to dispose of whilst patting him on the head saying “Good boy”.

Before I start babbling (like I usually do when I’ve been away for 24 hours) I best rattle off a quote. This one summed up today’s thoughts.

“If we couldn’t laugh then we would all go insane”- Robert Frost.

Laughter is the one thing at times that keeps me going. In times of misery laughter can be the ultimate tool, laughter can also be an incentive to carry on. I try to be a lady however the usual toilet humour such as people farting, falling over or saying the most ridiculous (yet not funny) jokes can crease me up. I don’t know what it is however I’ve been like that my entire life.

What is it that makes you laugh? Do you have any memorable moments to share? Have a think and see if it makes you laugh still.

Laughter is something I’ve found that in times of weakness can pick you up and make your heart sing. Usually people are drawn to others that make them laugh because it’s deemed as a major quality in a potential significant other.

Whilst growing up I felt that although I had memorable childhood moments that there were occasions where my heart wouldn’t sing. I couldn’t see the wood from the trees and the constant battle with Epilepsy was something I feared most. Although I had a condition I noticed the walking on egg shells started to become apparent and I was in a position where I started questioning myself and how Epilepsy would define me as a person.

Epilepsy has been a battle since day one however without it my world would be lost. Strange that eh? In fact it probably wouldn’t however is all I know.

There has been many a time where I’ve wanted to erase my condition, bag it up, throw it in the bin and be rid of it however it’s not quite that simple. The resentment I felt towards my condition in my younger and teenage years was something that I found quite upsetting and the seizures even more so. My thoughts were jumbled.

To tell someone that you’ve had a seizure was something people couldn’t come to terms with particularly people my own age who didn’t have the foggiest. My parents were never one to be ashamed of me however there was this fragment of my mind that thought differently. How ridiculous is that?

My parents to this day ensure me that without me in their lives that their lives wouldn’t be half as fulfilled as they are now. Bearing in mind those words it’s safe to say that I have the best and only parents in the world. Their love and support is endless and their advice is second to none.

As you are all aware I have second guessed myself more times than I’ve had hot dinners particularly when work’s involved. Work to me is something that has been engrained into me from the day I could understand what a job was. When I first started work the idea of being on the sick frightened me because being on the sick repeatedly could only result in one thing… Being sacked.

From my latest blogs the discussion about sickness has ranked up there with being as daft as a ships cat and conjuring a plan in my head of spending my monthly salary before it’s even reached my bank account.

Working with Epilepsy is something that can cause a stir depending upon the work environment you’re in. I have been very fortunate that whilst working I have had the backing of my colleagues who automatically grab me a bar of chocolate whilst shaking incase my blood sugar levels are low and usually have a plastic cup of water (glass is not the best thing to have when shaking) to hand to cool me down.

You cannot alter the fact that people may feel uncomfortable approaching you about your condition however they need to understand too. Remember even though you live with Epilepsy you needed educating once therefore they should be given that same chance.

I don’t believe in giving in when the minor shakes occur however have drawn the conclusion that when the more severe arrive that I return home, lie in bed and allow the shakes to do what they must. You have to be sensible.

Today I had the opportunity of looking through my seizure diary at the amount of sick has fallen rapidly.

To think that since accepting my condition, attending therapy and appreciating life has made me think differently. The shakes are still prominent however something that doesn’t worry me like it once did. I still have my moments of weakness however that’s what being human’s all about. Accepting fault and moving on from it.

Surely there’s improvement there if my sickness is decreasing. When I first started shaking I’d shake up to six times per week. I’d like to think the decreasing episodes could be down to helping myself. Who knows? Either that or my brain wants a little rest.

The chicken pox could not be prevented however as time goes on my acceptance towards my shakes is becoming stronger and I can see a massive change in my persona when the topic’s raised. Unfortunately I have no say when the shakes arrive however are now aware of my circumstances and give myself that little pat on the back following a shaking episode because I know deep down I’ve managed to cope without reassurance.

I would recommend that you all do the same. Next time you have a moment alone have a think about what’s most important, what you can change and what you cannot control. Do the positives exceed the negatives and if not why not? Could anyone else help you? Knowing there’s an issue to be addressed means you’re half way there.

Fortunately the past couple of weeks the shakes have diminished slightly with me shaking approximately twice instead of my latest bout of four times per week. Instead of being down in the dumps like I was the other day whilst chuntering on about my Asthma I realised that life isn’t that bad. It get’s us down from time to time however it’s all about the getting back up.

Medication is renowned for causing side effects to all patients let alone ones suffering from a medical condition. To have such chemicals in one’s body cannot be healthy however knowing that my medication is keeping my seizures at bay is enough for me.

Anyhow onto today’s events.

One word. Buffet. Sod Peppa Pig I am officially Saz Pig. I have eaten like a horse all day. Apart from the water I gulped down in between it’s safe to say that my Sazzle snack challenge has fell by the waist side. Today’s buffet concoction included cheese savoury sarnies, potato croquettes, chicken tikka parcel pasties, four chocolate cookies, cocktail sausages the works. I was gluttonous and grazed all day. I felt sick when I returned from work and have returned back to my healthy beef noodles to console myself after the grub I’ve eaten.

The one (sort of) good thing to come out of today was resuming my exercise mission that is to be a lean mean squatting machine in no time. The term “Keep calm and squat on” is back!

I’ll let you in on a little secret. As a child I dreaded PE at school. Apart from dancing and playing rounders I was shit at anything physical. I usually needed my inhaler 20 times whilst doing cross country, fell off a climbing frame a good few times and was informed that I was and would forever will be Wing Attack on the school netball team.

There’s nout flash about being wing attack is there really? I was no goal attack I was just bland old wing attack.

I stood there PE kit on with my gangly bruised legs (because I usually fell over my flat feet whilst running) staring into space whilst watching my team get shafted 100-0 still not knowing where to stand and what part of the court I was meant to be on. Rounders on the other hand was my thing. I batted away and ran as fast as my legs would carry me, bat in one hand blue inhaler in the other.

Mind you I have started a new fitness regime all courtesy of YouTube.

I’m not a fitness fanatic to say the least. I do my squats, leg lifts, sit ups, hand held weights and that’s about it. This DVD footage has bust my balls in 20 minutes. I am absolutely exhausted. The woman I was exercising to is phenomenal and has a body to die for. If the reviews on Amazon are to go by this woman is gonna woop my arse and ensure I achieve my goal.

Now I’m psyched up and ready to go. My attention is turned to my slimpod and this YouTube exercise plan by American fitness guru Jillian Michaels. I couldn’t help but notice her 30 day shred and was intrigued therefore played this 20 minute video and joined in. All I’ve got to say is “Bloody hell this woman means business” and I’m only onto level one.

This woman is a mean machine, no wonder she was one of the judges on the American version of the Biggest Loser. That’s exactly what I need someone to spur me on.

I’ve ordered her DVD’s and are gonna see how far I get. I’ve been informed that with exercise it’s all about little and often, pushing yourself as far as you can and not rushing in with both feet because that will result in injury. Not good. I intend to exercise the recommended 5 days per week and take it from there. As she would say will I see results I’m hoping so. For her sake.

To conclude today’s post. Improvement is necessary to keep us on our toes, laughter keeps us going and eating too much buffet is pleasurable at the time however makes you fart all night. On a more serious note. I will leave you with a further quote that I will allow you to answer.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty”- Winston Churchill.

When Epilepsy is concerned look at your condition as a whole. Accept that there will be problems along the way however that’s normal. As long as you have support and the optimism to continue then that’s what will keep you going. That and laughter of course.


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