She’s just a sickly child.. Well adult now!

Talk about an interesting 24 hours.

Clothes have been purchased that’s not to mention the copious amounts of coffee drank.

After yesterday’s football results I can officially say that I’m the worst female gambler in the world. As for my chest that’s felt tighter than any pair of skinny jeans I’ve tried on in the past. Let’s just say I’ve had an adventurous weekend so far. Thank god we have Monday off. On a lighter note hope you’re all having a relaxing bank holiday weekend.

“You’re never a loser until you quit trying”- Mike Ditka

And I refuse to quit trying particularly when my health’s involved.

The quote above is courtesy of twitter account Motivational Quotes and one I find to be rather motivational indeed.

Earlier on in the year I wrote about winning and losing and asking you whether it was the same thing? To me winning is about knowing in your heart that you’ve done your hardest and got the outcome you deserve. Losing on the other hand isn’t something to be frowned at.

In my personal opinion losing is about portraying to yourself and others that you have worked to the best of your ability however at this moment in time it’s not meant to be therefore you review the situation, evaluate the problem and give it another go. At the end of the day you’ve tried your hardest so never beat yourself up about it because it isn’t worth the stress and definitely not worth jeopardising your health for.

A set of people I love and value the opinion of are my in laws. Like my family their endless support gives me the motivation to continue and their advice is something I treasure. I can’t recall whether I’ve told you all this previously however my mother in law believes that your life is already mapped out for you somewhere and that whatever will be will be. I think similarly to her however feel that there’s always the improvement to change the direction of the map.

If the shit hits the fan one day and you find yourself in a situation you cannot prevent then you have to go back to the drawing board and decide what’s best for you and how this plan is going to make you life better and happier. Unfortunately we would all like to be millionaires however unless luck comes our way then that isn’t gonna happen anytime soon. In fact there’s more a chance of the pope knocking on my front door than me winning the lottery.

Money helps situations and takes the financial burden from families however if you’re insecure about something then you have to address that issue before moving onto the next. Money isn’t going to erase the problem therefore as my nana would say we must make do and mend.

Growing up was something that I’ll treasure because my parents brought me up in a way where although advice was given I was left to draw my own conclusion.

My parents and grandparents took me to restaurants at an early age and to improve my confidence would promote interaction with others leaving me to ask for simple things such as ordering my own meal, asking for the bill and paying the waiter with their money. It seems rather odd when you tell people these things however my confidence lacked when I was diagnosed and it was their way of getting a fragment of that back.

Thanks to them it gave me the confidence to eventually want to help myself, to stand up in a crowd and voice my opinion when necessary. Having a condition such as Epilepsy drains your energy at times and forces you to become introverted. Although I had my moments I wanted to be someone who was vivacious yet sensible and someone who was proud of her condition when asked.

Although it took time to get there the day did arrive when I was approximately 24 when I did say yes I’m proud and if you don’t like it then that’s your problem.

Ask yourself these questions. Is there anything you would like to change about yourself? Do you sometimes feel that society puts too much stress on you to be someone you’re not and if you do have a condition are you afraid to tell others what you endure?

My advice would be (and I know I don’t live in your shoes) is that life is about living and seizing the moment within reason. I’ve said this since I started writing Sazzle’s blog however feel that every now and again assurance is required.

Like the other day when I wrote about my fashion tantrum no-one was there to yank me out of that troublesome state therefore the emotions manifested into anger that it should never have done. What I should have done is prepare and have this careless frame of mind to prevent me from making an absolute tit of myself.

I appreciate now that we all make mistakes (that one included) and that we must address the issue and move on. The same applies with my Epilepsy I have to look at each shaky bout and think that it’ll pass and before long I’ll be feeling normal again.

This weekend so far has outshone the ones I’ve written about so far, apart from the Jazz café disaster that was a close second.

Yesterday was all about Dad and Saz day. My mother joined in for a coffee and a power rant at my father for not eating enough and taking dieting too seriously however we had a laugh and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Since Thursday my chest has been giving me jip. Not only do I have Epilepsy to contend with but have Asthma also. The usual course of treatment are inhalers and in the worst case scenario a week’s course of steroids to loosen the tightness from my chest.

I was diagnosed with Asthma about the age of two and have taken inhalers ever since. At one stage the A&E staff knew my parent’s names off by heart with me being a regular visitor for nebulisers, saline drips and a course of magic medicine. If it wasn’t the seizures then the Asthma would strike and did so till my early teens.

Ever since I was a child my dad would use the expression.

“Saz I love you poppet but you’re such a sickly child” Cheers Dad, nice to know you love me. Ha!

Looking back that statement is quite ironic because over the past few months all I’ve done is shake, get chicken pox, have migraines and wheezy chests. My bedside drawer has so much medication in it I could create my own Pharmacy!

As the years have progressed my chest has got worse. Exercise is bearable however does require a longer rest period. The doctors are aware of the situation and are monitoring it closely.

In January 2013 I had a viral infection with my chest being the worst attacked. I had a flu jab and my arm came up like a pudding all red and swollen. The wheezing shortly followed.

Initially the tightness was manageable therefore I ignored advice, travelled to work and doubled up on my inhalers. Unfortunately the tightness got to a stage where the inhalers didn’t work therefore I had to request a course of steroids to loosen the problem. Since then there’s been no real chest dilemma’s till now..

Yesterday afternoon my chest was so sore I felt hot inside and warm to the touch. My body was aching and I knew the good old influenza was on it’s way. My mam lately has had a chest infection so I knew I would be in her path to recovery and get it regardless. Usually I’d joke with her calling her all the names under the sun for giving me her cold however as she recently purchased a pair of bright blue trousers for my on Friday night (A bargain £4 H&M) I decided to let her off!

This chest problem is so uncomfortable.

I tried all the home remedies under the sun. I attempted to buy cough syrup for chesty coughs however was refused from Boots because I’m asthmatic. I’ve tried vicks vapour rub, inhaling steam, cold compress on the head, warm towel on the chest, lemon & ginger tea (that tasted like a sweaty sandshoe) and that’s just five to name a few.

As I was only getting four hours sleep a night and after not being able to get a doctors appointment till next Thursday I decided to give the NHS helpline a call to seek further advice to enable me to get my usual seven hours.

After answering an array of questions I was told that an ambulance would be on it’s way to give me the once over. Eh? Is someone joking me? I couldn’t believe it. An ambulance? Really? I only had a bad chest, I didn’t want the cavalry at my front door. I felt a fraud, surely ambulances were for people with worse problems than me, I mean I only called for some advice!!

Before I knew it an ambulance was at my door checking me over and asking if I’d like to be accompanied to A&E, alternatively I could go to my local walk in centre for a further check up. I looked a right mess! Pyjama bottoms on, vest top on, hair sticking to my head and Vicks vapour rub all over me. The paramedics were absolutely phenomenal and made me feel at ease. Apart from the heart check where their little heart suckers kept on sliding off my Vicks vapour chest the check went rather smoothly.

Then onto the second hurdle. The walk in centre for a potential steroid remedy. After waiting 80 minutes I managed to see a nurse. The symptoms were explained, a further check over was completed only to be told that I would be getting… zilch. Bugger all… Jiggly squat!

For Pete’s sake man! No antibiotics, no steroids just advice on trebling up my inhalers and not over exuding myself. All that for advice! Blast! Anyhow I returned home half asleep, crawled into bed and slept away.

Today my chest is sore however I’m taking the nurse’s advice taking my inhalers and doing tasks little and often. I’ve decided that my middle name should be sick note. After all’s said and done life has to continue and if I’m gonna be unwell I might as well poke fun at myself in the process and laugh about it even though I’m sore, tired and bloody starving.

My health may be on the low side however my healthy eating is on the up. No chocolate for me yesterday just a muller rice. The hubby made tea last night (again I could get used to this) and the TV wasn’t too bad. The squat challenge has been postponed for the time being however I’m on 160 now so my ass should be like a firm peach in no time.. or so I hope?!

To conclude today’s post. To cut long story short we have to take the rough with the smooth, we have to understand that we’re only human and that the past needs to be left well alone. You are made to make every difference so embrace every opportunity to do so.


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