Mind over matter.

Good afternoon everyone. This morning I visited my GP for a quick glance over. I was overjoyed at the fact that my optimism paid off and that come tomorrow I can return back to normality because I’m fit for work.

Whilst ordering the food shopping online earlier I stumbled across the following quote:

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”- Dr Seuss.

A question for you all. Honestly do you worry about what other’s think or do you think bollocks to it and move on?

Do those who mind matter? Well at one stage of my life I thought they did. Whilst of work I started thinking about my blog and about people in general. When you merge the two I thought to myself what would the people who know me think about me writing a blog like this. Will they think I’m daft? Will they think it be beneficial to my wellbeing or will I be a complete laughing stock?

I don’t for one second think that there will be a selection of people reading this who think who’s she? Who’s she to offer advice? Why would someone want to offer their life on a plate like she’s doing?

My question for them would be if I’m trying to raise Epilepsy awareness what’s the point in telling you that Epilepsy’s all hunky dory? Epilepsy can be scary and intimidating for those who don’t see seizures regularly. For those who live with it Epilepsy throws up a multitude of problems however we try to remain strong and keep going because we are soldiers all standing tall for a good cause.

In response to the questions above my life has always been on a plate and if you don’t like it then bollocks. I’m not going to please everybody. There are certain aspects of my life that I do intend to keep private however in the main my life does consist of shakes and the occasional bout of anxiety.

The worry entered my mind for all of ten minutes however the more I analysed the situation the more I realised that if people don’t like it then tough. This is my hobby, my passion and something for many years that I’ve to pursue. By writing my blog keeps me on course.

I never got a journalism degree therefore never thought that I was good enough to go into writing permanently. Although I had read blogs in the past I didn’t have a clue on how to set one up and get it out there via social media.

It was only by chance one day that I went onto word-press, had a fiddle with the buttons on my laptop and started writing. Initially my blog was a reference for me to refer to when I was feeling low.

This blog was put in place as something that I could look back on and allow my family to see how far we’ve all come with this condition because it has been a rollercoaster. Making the decision to publish it onto twitter was a difficult decision but a step I felt was necessary to promote Epilepsy awareness.

The one thing however that I’ve always felt was required was to help others anyway that I could. The idea of helping one person meant that I was achieving my goal because in times of need although my parents and I were close I did have moments where I felt alone and just needed that one person my age to tell me that they faced the same problems as I did hence why I’m documenting this online.

As mentioned in previous posts I wasn’t the most academic however when I am passionate about something I run with it and I want to learn. You give me any geographic and I go to sleep, you give me anything historic and I want to know.

My purpose is to raise Epilepsy awareness by telling my story openly and honestly, by raising issues people are afraid to discuss with the medical profession and to try to find out answers about my own condition. Although I’ve coped with Epilepsy for twenty years I’m still learning something new everyday. So far I’ve managed to speak to people about our similarities that we have with Epilepsy, our medication troubles, our anxieties and most importantly the desire to be the best we can be right now.

As a youngster growing up with Epilepsy was something I couldn’t cope with at certain stages. I never wanted the sympathy I just wanted people to understand where I was coming from.

The whole mind over matter never really came into play until I reached my early twenties where life changing decisions such as getting a job, owning your own home and getting married became the number one priority in my life. My Epilepsy never left me however had to take a back seat in order for me to move forward. To change my thought pattern from shakes and seizures to deciding what the décor of my home’s gonna be or how many people are coming to our wedding was something I found quite strange. It was new and exciting but strange all the same.

Every woman loves to organise their house and make plans however I felt like I was running on a treadmill. I had to get it done yesterday just incase an episode would emerge. It takes a while to train your mind to think differently however trust me you can do it. It just takes time.

Apart from the outdoor visit today has revolved around watching TV, tidying up and sending the occasional tweet. As I want to get back on course I thought it may be worthwhile to see if I could train my mind to NOT eat chocolate. Oh dear. That fell right on it’s arse. Seemingly there’s something on the market called the slimpod. Unlike an IPod this pod is supposed to train my mind to NOT reach for that chocolate bar. Too good to be true? Seemingly the results speak for themselves.

A link has been sent to me so I’m going to give the sample a go. I don’t want to lose weight I just want to eat healthily and tone up. To buy the pod is £45, the more I think about it the more I think what’s more important two new summer tops or a couple of CD’s I may not like? Surely we are all allowed a treat. I am undecided.

The squat challenge will resume again tomorrow along with me preparing my lunches so fingers crossed that I stay true to my healthy eating. Whilst I’ve been off work my eating pattern hasn’t been dreadful so we’ll wait and see.

To conclude today’s post. Should we care about what others think of us? Nope. The only people who care are the people that love us the most. Why do we feel this way from time to time? Who knows. There’s a second quote today that I felt was needed add to this conclusion.

“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happy and just be happy”- Guillaume Apollinaire.

And rightly so. Sod everyone else and keep going. Be as happy as you want to be because you deserve it.


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