“If you figured it all out today, what would be the point of tomorrow? Enjoy the process of being a work in progress”
Recovery takes time, accepting yourself may take a lifetime but getting there is such an accomplishment.
The quote above is something that has made me see sense. It’s something that has given me the incentive to hold back and to accept that we cannot solve all our problems in the one day. There comes a stage in one’s life where we have to analyse a certain part of that problem one day and leave the remainder for another time.
When it comes to having a condition there poses an endless stream of problems however what sort of world would we live in without problems. The first thing that may come to mind is a carefree one however ask yourself this what sort of goals would you set yourself without these problems arising in the first place? Would you just dawdle through life without a care in the world?
I don’t want to be like a sheep and live like everyone else. I want to stand out from the crowd and be unique. Epilepsy in itself makes me unique however it’s the acceptance of it that makes me shine. I know that now. From an early age I was never content with what I had, there was always that additional worry that one worry that would usually tip me over the edge and result in me breaking down on the nearest person I could find.
That’s the thing with self pity, it manifests into something you can’t even imagine and that’s exactly what I was doing. You can on occasion burden everyone with the same tired old problems that you know in your head you can solve if you put your mind to it however you continue to bring up the same thing every however so often. Looking back I wanted pity when I was younger because I didn’t fully understand what was taking over my life, as I got older it turned into resentment however now it’s more about being at peace with yourself and understanding that whatever will be will be.
I must tell you all about what happened to me this morning as I feel a tad famous. For all those who didn’t see my timeline this morning I managed to get a follow from the one and only Catherine Huntley from QVCUK. For those who may already know I’m a QVC beauty addict buying what beauty I can from the TV. I was over the moon to have not only a follow from this fabulous lady but RT’s from Pipa Gordon and Alison Keenan too. I couldn’t believe it little old me. To get a response from these three successful women demonstrates to me that we all wish to raise Epilepsy awareness together.
Another great deed was the fact I donated my bed to The British Heart foundation. As this is a condition quite close to home I felt it was only right to donate this bedroom furniture to a British charity who helps millions each year. The smile was well and truly on my face for donating to such a good cause. Big smile alert.
Anyway enough gloating best continue..
No shakes and no headaches this morning which was a blessing in itself. I did however have that demotivation where I couldn’t be bothered and just wanted to reach into the cupboard for a club biscuit and be done with the day. Saturday’s are not a day for sitting around it’s a day where bets must be placed, food must be eaten and copious amounts of coffee must be drank. Not only did I have friends to meet up with I had to see the family and tidy up therefore this wasn’t a time to dawdle.
This morning I went into town as normal only this time the converse was on, I was feeling comfy and I felt like I was looking the part. All was good until the dreaded brownie was revealed by the waitress in the coffee shop my dad and I usually go in.
Today I broke the Sazzle choccie challenge and succumbed to the chocolate brownie with white chocolate chunks. Blatant error made on my part there. My mind was saying one thing and my heart the other. The smell of freshly baked brownies was enough to send anyone over the edge let alone a chocoholic. Either way I kept to one and didn’t reach for a second.
Unfortunately the gluttony didn’t stop there with me devouring a prawn mayo sarnie on white with a large bowl of chunky chips. The fizzy pop came later whilst meeting up with my pal at the local bar for a catch-up. Food wise I must write this off as a bad job and return back to my actual challenge (that is to eat healthier) tomorrow.
This afternoon has been about spending time with family and friends. The Saturday afternoon ritual of shouting at the TV was well underway with me getting myself riled at the fact my footie bets had gone tits up whilst my husband’s warming scones in the microwave and my dad’s having a doze on the sofa. All in all the day’s gone as well as it could have.
I’m still keeping my word on the squat challenge. Today the challenge was 60, the promise has been kept and my thighs are pulsating like no tomorrow. Everytime I bend down I’m thinking to myself “Tone that ass and get that cellulite off those thighs”. This afternoon’s brownie was evidently showing through my trousers and couldn’t be disguised therefore I battled against the pain. Hopefully tomorrow will be a different story with me resisting temptation and squatting for England. My philosophy. Keep calm and squat on!!
This evening is all about seeing family and friends. Last nights Jazz Café evening planned was a disaster. The aim was to have a couple of pre Jazz drinks before going to the café to listen to a few classics before returning home tipsy.
Unfortunately this didn’t go according to plan as Newcastle was deserted and the café shut. Only three words had to come out of my mouth to sum up this escapade. One is For, the other sake and as you can imagine the F bomb was in between. You get the picture therefore it was a relatively early night for me after Alan Carr of course who is at present one of the funniest men on TV.
To conclude today’s post. Weekends is for doing whatever you want before a new week commences. For me it’s all about getting jobs done and having a damn good laugh. I’m a massive lover of quotes (as you can all tell) and feel that the following is a necessity to having a content life.
As Anais Nin once said:
“When you make a world tolerable for yourself you make a world tolerable for others”
Be happy with who you are if you can.
I’m a great believer in fate and feel that if the time’s right you will move into the direction you choose to go. Life isn’t about putting stress on yourself it’s about keeping an open mind and taking into account your condition in the process. Realise that others don’t think the same as you do. In every relationship/friendship/scenario there’s always a hell raiser and a peacemaker. If we were all the same then no decisions would be made.
In each situation we are different. Never are two minds the same and you have to decipher what’s right for you. What choice you make may not be the same as somebody else. Question for you all. Does this really matter? Decide what you hold dear and embrace it with both hands.
Enjoy the happiness the weekend brings and never allow yourself to come second best because you are the most beautiful condition or not.