Attitudes and relaxation.

“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes”- Hugh Downs

The comment above is something that has on a variety of occasions applied to me. It’s safe to say that I have always had the determination to succeed however never felt like I was in the zone. There was a culmination of problems that I would put in the way, the majority that were associated with my condition. Questions such as “What if’s, why’s and what for’s would dominate my conscious self to the point where I couldn’t be bothered. I was a wreck questioning absolutely everything. I wanted to move forward however didn’t actually know how to.

Prior to going into therapy worry would take over to the detriment of my own health. Worry is a powerful thing and can control your entire thought pattern.

Have you ever heard someone say “Stop worrying or what are you worrying for, it’ll be ok” there’s that part of you wants to believe them and the other part of you that’s thinking to yourself “How can they guarantee that everything’s going to be ok when they don’t know what I’m going through”. It’s that awkward feeling between standing still and accepting the situation in front of you.

My parents (particularly my mam) saw some of the worst seizures I’ve ever had. The fitting in the bath, the seizures whilst she was driving, the numerous free falling down the stairs and the time when she thought I was going to spill Spaghetti Bolognese on her new cream carpet. All were an absolute nightmare. To be honest I think the Spag bol one was the worst of it for her! She knows I mean well.

We can laugh about it now however for my parents the seizures, the shakes, the numerous conversations about my Epilepsy and the worry must have been difficult for my parents to witness. The fact that you cannot help your child must have been complicated for them however as a family we remained united and marched along.

Having a positive attitude is something that I believe comes over time, age can play a major role in thinking positively along with experience. It’s safe to say that my parents had a point.

It makes me cringe to admit this because of past disagreement I’ve had with my parents over this matter however it’s true. You learn more as you get older and you handle situations differently. I hate to say that my parents were right and I was wrong. You can’t have everything yesterday you have to hang fire, do what you can and see what the future holds.

Since diagnosis I always trying to retain that optimism and to apply it in every aspect of my life. In my younger years I strived to be a perfectionist; a perfectionist with a medical condition. Being caring was a priority however being care free didn’t even come into the equation. In my eyes if I wasn’t worrying about something then I wasn’t being me.

Looking back and saying that comment leaves a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. To think I was so naïve makes me realise that you have to just go with the flow. You can’t keep predicting what the future may hold. Sometimes people overthink. I’ve done it so many times myself. By all means envisage what your future/condition may hold however my current philosophy is this. To put so much expectancy on yourself is wrong because if what you want doesn’t go according to plan it can lead to disappointment and result in you kicking yourself in the arse for no reason.

When someone talks about having the right attitude the question has always arisen? What is the best attitude to have? Is it the carefree one so you’re never hurt? Is it the caring one so that you can prove to others how much you love them? Is it the forceful one to give you the strength to progress or is it a combination of all three?

It’s safe to say that we all at some point of our lives questioned ourselves about this matter however each to their own. It depends upon what the situation actually is.

From my experience I know that I’ve never applied all three until now. I’ve always fallen into probably the second category because I have a bond with my family and have felt over the years that by making their business my own that it would deviate from me having to cope with my own problems that being my Epilepsy and the worry I allowed to come with it.

I think the ultimate thing to do is apply yourself in the best way possible. Do the right thing. If you know something’s wrong then don’t do it. Accept that there may be repercussions that come with that choice. If you are a gracious person, a caring person about the people who you love along with the topics you are passionate about then fine. You have to ask is the remainder really essential? What’s more important to you?

As some are aware my husband and I have been to Longhirst Hall just off Morpeth, UK. The getaway was part of a Christmas present given by my dad and stepmam. We decided Easter was the best time to go as it would be something to look forward to. It would be something where my husband and I could get away, leave the cat with my mother and just relax.

The venue was stunning however the signal was absolute shite. I shouldn’t have even been on my phone however I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to take so many photos and post them online however it just wasn’t meant to be. Damn you Longhirst hall!

Relaxing is probably one of the highlights life can bring. Relaxing is one of the highlights of my life and we all deserve a little relaxation every now and again. The idea of someone pampering me is divine and yesterday whilst sitting in a steam room hot droplets bouncing off my head that at this moment in time I couldn’t think of anywhere I’d rather be.

I could feel the stress oozing from my body and my head was in another place. All the stresses and strains were disintegrating and I couldn’t care less. I looked above and saw the lights changing colour, chilled music engulfed the room I was in and I knew that this was where I ought to be because being relaxed should take priority when you’re body’s low. All I wanted was to sit there all day. I didn’t want to move. The spa had everything you could possibly need and after my mini manicure after I knew that this was exactly what I needed.

The evening meal was just as superb as the spa topped off with a glass of vino. The diet didn’t go out the window. Sazzle’s choccie challenge has remained intact with me sticking to my two pieces and hoping to reduce that to one by the end of the week. Obviously yesterday exercise didn’t take centre stage however I’m trying to train my mind to shout “Saz get off your behind and exercise, don’t reach for the unhealthy foods”

At the moment it’s rather crazy however I reach for food, have a sniff then put it back. Is there anything you could recommend to kick myself out of that situation? Am I not eating enough or is it just a habit I’m into because I’m used to snacking/eating large portions? When I get headaches the first thing I want to do is eat to take away the pain. Do any of you do the same?

Do any of you have any motivational sayings to keep me going? If so please share.

It’s got to the point where I’ve written on my little blackboard in the kitchen “Eat healthy, stay motivated, don’t overfeed the cat”. The third one I seem to digest however the others are proving harder. Although I’m sticking to my little pointers I do however need something to keep me motivated as I’m easily distracted. Do any of you guys have any tips? Any would be greatly appreciated.

To conclude today’s post. Take each day as it comes, having a good attitude can in fact make you a fulfilled person. You may at the time be disgruntled however we all get like that at times. Worry often gives a small thing a great shadow. As Michael Jordan some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen and others make it happen. I appreciate that when you have a medical condition you can be restricted however as long as you have a positive mind then you can achieve anything.


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