First and foremost I will apologise in advance to people who dislike profanities and any form of corrupt behaviour. I’m not usually a person who gets too annoyed, I do have my angry days however perceive that to be normal.
The topic of bullying however is something I cannot abide, in fact it infuriates me. When I made the choice to write this blog I wanted to cover all categories ranging from my experience with epilepsy along with other standard obstacles people face that cause worry and anxiety. Raising awareness is crucial to the development of others in particular the younger generation who are currently growing up in today’s society. Bullying has always been around however I think it’s far worse now then it ever has been.
Bullying to me is the all time low and to be honest it really pisses me off. To think that someone has the nerve to bully an individual is downright wrong even more so a person who suffers from a disability of any kind.
When I first started highlighting my struggles on this blog I started following groups on twitter who would bring up the subject of people with epilepsy suffering at the hands of bullies, bullies of all ages. To think that those poor teenagers had the worry of understanding their condition whilst trying to stand up to these bullies was disturbing to read and brought back my childhood memories of bullying. Didn’t they not have enough on their plate without the bullying? Irrespective of having a condition or not nobody should be at the hands of a bully.
I remember tweeting to one of my followers and saying that “A bully has no right to call anyone who suffers from Epilepsy because until you have walked a mile in our shoes then you have no right to stand there and slag us off”.
To this day my feelings remain the same.
I have no time for bullies and urge everyone to acknowledge this to loved ones, teachers, and anyone who is prepared to listen.
You NEVER have to go through this alone. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT like all others to have your say when you want. In my day there was no such thing as social networking, this didn’t come into effect till I was in my early twenties and now I couldn’t care less. Like everyone with a new fad I registered myself to Facebook and ended up making friends who couldn’t be arsed to even say hello to me at school let alone me being their “friend”.
As a result I came off Facebook and didn’t actually start social networking till I came onto Twitter.
The idea of someone creating a “social networking group” in which you are given the power to make someone else’s life a misery is a damn disgrace. You are messing with people’s lives and in some extreme cases the results are disastrous. What bullies don’t realise is that you aren’t just upsetting the individual. You are upsetting everyone who loves them and has the misfortune of watching their relative going through unnecessary grief because some bully wants to get a kick out of upsetting someone they dislike. If you don’t like someone just stay out of their way and accept that you agree to disagree. You may have a whinge to yourself behind their back but just leave it that way. Why take it to the next level?
A bully is someone who cannot stand up to their own insecurities therefore attempt to bring everyone else down to their level. I do not condone violence in anyway however feel that if a bully causes offence that you have every right to stand up for yourself and give just as much back. Now people can use the saying of “Two wrongs don’t make a right” however in some instances provisions need to be made.
When I was younger I was scrutinised for having a condition that I couldn’t control. Not many people know this however it used to make me upset to the point where I didn’t want to go to school. It got to the point where my Dad taught me a little self defence should this so called bully give me anymore grief. Fortunately I never used force however one day did get the opportunity to verbally put her in her place. Ignorance is bliss when bullies are there.
After therapy I had the opportunity to test my own strength against a “bully” or someone of adult age who let’s just say didn’t have two brain cells to rub together and wanted to make a laughing stock of himself. A couple of acquaintance’s and I went out for an afternoon drink. A drink that I never thought in my wildest dreams would turn into a full blown argument in which I would stand up for myself.
Now I understand when alcohol is involved that discussions can become heated and words can get exchanged unnecessarily. As I’m not a massive drinker I had the pleasure of sitting watching everyone get tipsy whilst I was tucking into a bar meal. I had a couple myself however nothing that would pose any real concern.
This lad (let’s call him Johnny) I had met before and let’s just say that without a drink he was rather full of himself. He would whine about the world and how everyone owed him a living. Now people like that aren’t worth my time.
This bloke was making far too many excuses as to how he couldn’t have a life. What annoys me is that there are people out there that want a life, that want a job, that want some stability. He had it on a plate and he was throwing it away with this petulant behaviour. It was making a mockery of people who want to get on.
There are people out there that have literally nothing however they have to make ends meet, they have to think positively and they have to keep going. I’m fortunate that my seizures aren’t bad enough for me to continue with my life and hold a job. I have a job and a disability and unless my health is so bad that I’m unable to do that then that’s what I will continue to do. Johnny had no clue as to what my life entailed. He just thought that I didn’t work because I suffered from Epilepsy. In some cases that does happen however if I’m well enough then I’ll work.
Johnny asked a lot that afternoon about my condition to which I was happy to discuss with him.
Then the question of “Well why are you working if you’re epileptic?” was mentioned. At first I thought what a cheeky bastard however accepted that he didn’t know a great deal about epilepsy so let that one slip.
He then came out with “No disrespect but I’ve always known people who fit to be spastics (people who are disabled) so I don’t want to be around them”. Now this really got my attention and fucked me off no end.
Whilst on the topic of my condition he was also rambling about his washing machine being broken. This broken appliance caused him undue stress as it was messing with his social calendar. He had to go round to his mothers and ask that she wash his clothes.
This bloke incensed me because he made it out that people who are disabled cannot live any life, cannot work and are regarded as “spastics” how dare he come out and put me in that category. He looked at me as someone who could walk, talk and have a laugh however that’s not the way I’ve always been. How dare he call people that? You’re not fucking perfect are you mate?
The more drunk Johnny got the more he would poke fun at me, the others that were with me were getting more and more disturbed. You could see it in their faces. What should I do next? Run? Cry? Walk away? I knew one day I would have to confront him about this issue.
So what did I say?
“Johnny you know that washing machine you are having problems with?”
“Yeah” he said.
“Well why don’t you bring some washing up powder to my house, put your clothes in my bath, I’ll have a fit in your bath and wash your clothes for free, it’ll save you going to your mothers” I said. “Think next time before you call someone a spastic”
I was foaming, enraged whatever you wanna call it. I wanted to know his head off his shoulders. I was upset however managed to let my emotions go that far.
The bloke was gobsmacked and to be honest so was I for coming out with that comment. I was never one to ever make fun like that of myself and I thought at one stage that I’d stooped to his level. Shortly after I realised that I had stood up to this bully, to this person who was making fun of me and everyone else with a disability. People like that need to think before they comment. Johnny had no right. I never saw the lad again after that discussion and thank god I didn’t.
I stood up to him. Maybe it’s because I was changing. When you make fun of yourself you are not degrading yourself you are just giving those bullies no ammunition to continue spreading shit.
So there you have it bullies. As I said earlier never be silenced, go for help, contact an awareness helpline and seek advice from the ones you love. They know the topic better than you think.