Life is for living. It’s not for constantly looking into the past.
Your life should be about your present and a plan for your future. Your past should be left well alone. It’s come, it’s gone. That sounds contradictory considering I am writing a blog about my past. Let’s just say It is only now that I am accepted mine. Everyone makes mistakes and you shouldn’t punish yourself repeatedly for making them. As long as you have learned from them then you can move forward.
The last neurologist appointment from my last post put life into prespective for me. At first I was disappointed that the seizures had returned however I knew that I had to tackle them head on and to realise that I had to get on with it.
I attended meetings with other adults who shared the same condition as I did. I couldn’t compare my seizures with others as although mine were more frequent theirs were on a greater scale to mine. The symptoms were similar however their’s were far more severe. The group made me realise that if I wanted to progress then I would have to continue as normal.
And so I attempted to do just that..
Shorlty after I returned home I was fortunate to receive my first full time job before making the decision to move into the position I am currently in now. During my first few years in employment I experienced difficult scenarios that caused a great deal of upheavel in my life . I was very doubtful as to whether my condition would prevent me from having any form of career. It was only when I realised that I was covered under the Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) that I had a hidden disability and that this shouldn’t go un-noticed.
Ignorant as it sounds I thought being disabled was when an individual was either mentally or physically disabled. I didn’t consider myself to be disabled and never thought that I fell into that category. After establishing that I had a disability I researched my condition thoroughly and realised that I could have an active life like everyone else without that worry.
The majority of people I know cannot stand having to get up early and go to work. Like me I count down the days till it’s Friday so I can thoroughly enjoy my weekend whether that be going out for the occasional drink, socialising or just chilling in front of the TV with a takeaway.
Work shouldn’t always be a downer as it allows you to earn money and to provide for your loved ones. It’s an accomplishment in itself working. That’s the way I was brought up. Knowing you have earned your own money and providing for your family is the biggest success in life.
When you work with people on a regular basis you can develop a bond with some that cannot be broken. In my case I have two close friends who to this day have remained my best friends, both of whom I met at work. They would always assure me that the condition wasn’t my fault, they would recognise that the epilepsy was a part of me and that I couldn’t change that. The one thing I could change was to turn something I have always afraid of from a negative into a positive. We still to this day reminisce and laugh about past events. My friends were never one to judge me and they gave me their honest opinion when I needed a question answering. They have seen it all the seizures, the upsets and the worries. With friends you agree to disagree but that’s normal. A true friend accepts you warts and all. My friends mean the world to me and long may that continue.
So here I was earning money, buying clothes and actually facing up to a percentage of my worrying state.
As time went on I managed to address the debt and formulate a payment plan to clear this once and for all, and so I did just that. If I could tackle the debt, learn to understand my condition and retain a full time job then what else was I capable of doing. Then a side effect of my medication would be thrown into the mix… Let’s all welcome The shaky bout.